It’s been 2 weeks since my return from Huizhou, a place that in my wakeful nights and idle hours continues to be the primary occasion of my renewed nostalgia and the dominant subject of my daily reverie. The images and scenes, which the bare thought of that place can evoke, are still so compelling that I can’t help but suspect that that 10-day expedition, of which I was so honored to be a part, has changed the trajectory of my life and moved it in a fundamentally positive direction. Much has been said about that trip, and although I’m not writing to gush over it, suffice it to say that that particular experience has taught me an invaluable lesson, one that I hope to carry forward as its legacy by living my life henceforth with upward mobility and optimism.

    Notwithstanding this note of buoyancy, it is not to say that I have suddenly become superior to all the worldly troubles and petty setbacks that are incidental to human life; nor is it to suggest that life no longer gives cause to pessimistic thoughts or grievances. There is still much to complain about, if complain I should, and much to be sorry for, if sorry I choose to be. Ironically, the relatively peaceful and satisfying lifestyle in Huizhou makes it all the more unbearable that I should be so willing to confine myself to such an urban existence as is characteristic of any metropolis. I say this， knowing only too well the pros and cons of living in the country and living in town, and I don’t intend to diminish in any way the merits of urban existence or belittle the values of those who would prefer such a lifestyle. Perhaps my partiality, or if you will, my inclination towards ruralism has less to do with my values or personal pursuits than it does with my singular life experience, which has shaped my character, my manner of speaking and walking, and most importantly, my world view. Moreover, a chronic feeling of restlessness and insecurity over the years has contributed largely to my emotional vulnerability, which more often than not will lead me to avert unpleasant communication with people whom I deem capable of hurting my feelings. My psychological weakness and natural aversion to social interaction, therefore, seem to be more of a result of my inferiority complex, which arguably came from repeated failures, than of anything else. Given this mental circumstance, it’s easy for me to be cynical, to be pessimistic and to blame others or my fate for all the misfortunes and difficulties of my life. Fortunately, the journey I took to that small county called Huizhou has shed some positive light upon the very true meaning of happiness and simple satisfaction, which was then beginning to dawn on me. Now I’ve learnt that although life is not obliged to work out as you have planned, you can steer it in such a direction as may enable you to pursue your own happiness ,so long as you work hard and focus on what you can do best and not get distracted by caprices or trivialities. I’ve learnt that although there are some things that are predetermined and cannot be changed by mortal power, there are many more things that are not and can be changed, provided that we do not think too much of ourselves, not cry for the moon, and always remind ourselves of the values and commitments that will define our lives. All in all, I’ve learnt to be grateful for all the blessings that God allows me, and all the happiness and success I have had that I too often forget. God’s grace will shine upon every single one of His blessed sons, I believe, as long as we believe in 　　　　Providence and try to live our lives as He intends us to: that is, I suppose, to live with a thankful heart filled with love, gratification and above all, gratitude.

    These days I have had plenty of things to worry about, and there have been times when I fear negative feelings are coming over me again. But I know that I should spend my time and energy on what I can do best, and not fool around like I could be someone who I am not.

    Finally, I will conclude my soliloquy with a closing thought on my postgraduate exam next year. Nowadays it’s hard for people to begin a conversation with me without asking how things are going with my preparation. They of course assume that I should be up to my ears in preparation now, given my obvious weakness in Japanese and Politics. In response, I would usually smile and shrug and say in the most casual tone,

    “ Well, it’s still all about English at this point, ’cos that’s what I love, and what I can do best!”